"On Good Friday 1994 her de facto bashes her - throws petrol into her face and down the front of her body then sets her alight”.

Just recently a friend gave me an amazing book to read called Judas Kisses. It tells of a woman’s gutsy survival from unbelievable physical, emotional and psychological pain.

Sustaining full thickness burns to 65% of her body including entire face, neck, shoulders, breasts, midriff, arms, hands, both legs down to her toes. The doctors’ opinion? - patient had suffered horrendous lethal burns and death would be more humane.

Could it be any worse? Yes, it does because in steps DoCS who removed legal care from Donna, convicting her for the violence the children had witnessed, and denies all access to her extended family.

However, Donna defied the odds, not only making an astounding recovery but fought and regained her children before fighting for her rights as a Victim of Crime within the Legal System.

Donna’s gradual climb to national recognition began over a decade ago. In 1996 she first commenced court support available at NSW Taree Local Courthouse, offering information, support and guidance to victims of crime and their families. She has assisted many victims through court procedures and with all the practical things that can become so hard to do when on the road from victim to survivor.

In 1996 she established the first safe waiting room at Taree Local Court House for Victims of Crime to use while attending court with priority being women and children.

Since starting these two commonsense initiatives, many courts in Australia have now adopted and provide such services for Victims of Crime.

Donna has initiated, participated in countless community campaigns, forums and rallies. She found a powerful educational tool with the media and her numerous interviews have raised awareness concerning Victims’ Rights and about Domestic Violence.

Since 1995 Donna has worked closely with burn survivors and as a founding member, speaker and an Ambassador of Burn Survivors Network - KIDS Foundation. She has visited hospitals, homes and attended annual Burn Camps supporting burn survivors and their families. Many of these survivors see Donna as a guide and living example that they too can continue on.

In 2007 Donna’s autobiography Judas Kisses – co written with her good friend of over 33 years, Debbie Ritchie, and published by Hardie Grant – was  launched  by Andrew O’Keefe, chairperson of White Ribbon Day Campaign. Judas Kisses has since gone into second edition 2008. Her memoirs trace a journey from the darkness into the light. It looks at the woman she once was and the woman she became.

With all that Donna has accomplished she will tell you that her greatest achievements are her two sons, Coe 27 and Bodean 17, and grandson Zane, 3 years old with red hair and attitude to match.

Donna Carson a friend, daughter, mother, soccer mum, canteen worker, market stall holder, nanna, community volunteer – an ordinary Australian who turned a tragedy into triumph  practicing something she used to teach ‘don’t whinge about unfairness do something about it.’

Justice can come in all different shapes and forms, but the secret is doing all that you can- and sticking around long to see and recognize justice.

Here are just a few examples of justice in my journey.

During the Criminal proceedings the offender in my case was going to be given a good behaviour bond as punishment – that was up until I fought for my right to be seen and heard in Court. The Judge gave a jail sentence rather than a bond - it’s justice.

To witness Victims Services being created / Court Support Services and safe waiting rooms in Courthouses / Victims Impact Statement introduced / changes in legislation for victim’s rights / when I read and hear from now outspoken survivors of crime with the public being told the truth and demanding change – it’s justice

When I receive a ‘thank you for your help’ or stopped by a stranger on the street telling me how much my journey/story has inspired them to take action – it’s justice.

 DoCS assumed that they take my children and return them without being accountable for their negligence.  I had lost my home, my face, my job, disabled and reduced to living on welfare. The Department ignored my questions so I took legal action. It was settled in my favour and included a verbal and written apology - it’s justice. 

When I wake every morning in my bed and in my own home which I purchased thanks to the successful case against DoCS negligence - it’s justice.

A bully did his best to destroy me and yet here I am watching my sons grow into fine men and my grandson a spirited little boy. A bully did his upmost and yet I came back more Australian than before - it’s justice.

Since 1994 I kept my documents and recorded everything knowing it was important to do so without really understanding why.

During the years of guest speaking, my journey has been followed by everyday people who say it had made a difference to them and in their way of thinking. So at the end of 2004 I knew that a book could be the perfect vehicle to achieve so many goals.

I contacted my friend Debbie Ritchie - we first met at UNI. I knew of her passion for writing and her dream of publishing a book. When I told her of my plans and that I had decided I wanted her to be the co-author Deb went into can’t do mode.

After 30+ years of friendship my Deb had forgotten how determined I can be especially when I knew that this was right and she was the right person for the job. I asked her to take a leap of faith - faith in her abilities and in me. Finally Deb agreed to give it a go-and together we turned this dream into a reality - and called it Judas Kisses.

Personally:-

It’s for my sons and family - a thank you to the everyday heroes.

It’s for a dear friend who needed someone to believe in her and her dream.

It’s for me. I don’t have to remember nor fear forgetting.

Judas Kisses is entertaining, informative, challenging, a reminder of the power of choice, the human spirit and love. It is for everyone - men, women and young people. The kind and positive feedback Deb and I have received from readers assure us that we have achieved exactly that and we could not be any prouder- thank you! Judas Kisses is justice.

I am still involved with Burn Survivors Network - KIDS Foundation - and attend the annual Camps and work with burn survivors and families when called upon. Camp Phoenix is a truly uplifting gathering and many of the families I have known for years and have watched the children grow into beautiful capable young adults. A majority of these children/young adults are burn survivors and they are just so inspirational. Susie O’Neill is the founder of KIDS Foundation-and she has such an enormous heart and dedication to keeping our children safe.  

With the introduction of Victim Care Services, service providers extending their roles to assist Victims and continually improved legislation my pioneering work is at an end. Occasionally I’m contacted by Victims of Crime but not as much now.

So my life has gone to the next stage as I spend more time with my aging parents. My mother lives nearby – and dad has since moved up here. I am assisting my adult son with childcare – being a nanna and helping out whenever I can. To add to the mix I am still a single parent raising my teenage son who I’m helping to find his way in life.

So family is once again my biggest commitment with Judas Kisses generating more speaking engagements as its readers want to know more and how my life has been since.

I can easily say ‘NO’ when it doesn’t suit me and I don’t feel guilty about it nor do I allow anyone to make me feel guilty if I say ‘NO’.

I don’t put myself on the bottom of the list anymore and I do things just for me as I deserve it.

My sense of humour has gone up a few notches - I was always known for having a terrific sense of humour but now it’s positively wicked.

I cry more at weddings and movies now - I don’t know whether it’s just a deeper sense of gratitude or because at I‘ve turned into a real sook.

What advice can you give to other Groovy Grandmas about life, hardship and survival?

to remember and surround yurself with people who love, respect and encourage you to be the best that you can be and to cherish such people. Cut loose anyone who doesn't fit the criteria because toxic relationships only get worse and you deserve better.

And simply,

Life has never been about what you can't do but rather what you can - that truly counts!

To all the Groovy Grandmas, I wish you all continuaing strength, courage and spirit!

By Viriginia Scott

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