Sharyn Killens is one of the most extraordinary women I have ever met.

Sitting in the lounge room of her home on the NSW Central Coast, I  cant help but find myself totally in awe of this vivacious, happy and beautiful lady. Having just read her autobiography “The Inconvenient Child” I feel I know Sharyn intimately and am at a loss to understand how the emotional and physical cruelty Sharyn was forced to endure, not only from institutional authorities, but also from her own mother and grandmother, can have resulted in producing the loving and wonderful person sitting next to me.

Sharyn’s blonde haired blue eyed fair skinned mother, the beautiful “Princess Mummy” came from a white Australian middle class family, her father an African-American had been in the US Merchant Navy on R & R in Sydney during the war. When Sharyn was born illegitimately her  mother chose  not only to more or less disown Sharyn but to also deny Sharyn any knowledge of her heritage, telling her that her father was dead and refusing to even let her know his name.

Sharyn’s search for her identity and heartfelt desire to be part of a loving family takes her from being a baby brought up in post war Kings Cross by her unofficial West Indian foster family, to a Catholic Girls’ Boarding School, due to no fault of her own she is then made to spend her adolescence between Parramatta Girls’ Home and the Hay “Experiment” After her “release” she becomes a nurse and mother in Queensland but soon finds herself back in Kings Cross making a reasonable living out of being the only black exotic dancer (stripper) at the Paradise Club. Always wanting to be a singer, Sharyn eventually fulfills that dream and travels around the world as an entertainer on the Fairstar. In the end Sharyn does find out her father’s real name and along with that discovers a whole new family in the USA.

Sharyn’s life story is not just a fascinating peek at a somewhat hidden part of  Australia’s history, giving the baby boomer reader a totally different perspective about growing up in the, 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. Sharyn’s story is also a truly memorable and inspiring account of good  intentions triumphing over evil ones. It makes you realize that there are no excuses, that we all can be whatever we want to be.  Dotted here and there with cameo appearances from such mega stars as Ray Charles and BB King it is no wonder Lindsay Lewis and Sharyn collaborated to write Sharyn’s autobiography “The Inconvenient Child” Now in its second release this book is available for purchase just in time for Mother’s Day. You can get it in Kmart and Target as well as all the major Bookstores and Department stores.

Once you read it you will see why I had a few questions for Sharyn, which she has been kind enough to answer:

1. The first half of  your autobiography “The Inconvenient Child” deals with the harsh and brutal  treatment you and many other girls suffered at the hands of authority figures  from various institutions (including the Catholic Church) in whose “care” you  were placed as a child. Has there ever been any backlash, denial or public  apology from any of the authorities responsible for those atrocities and  deliberate neglect since the publication of your book?

The Prime Minister's Apology in Canberra last year to the children who were abused in institutions was an important day for all of us. I was very emotional about that as I felt, at last the Australian government was accepting responsibilty for its shameful treatment of children for many years. When the Hay Reunion took place a couple of years ago Senator Andrew Murray and several other people encouraged us to seek legal advice and  to make the perpetrators accountable by naming and shaming them and to seek compensation for all of us, Forgotten Australians, however when we visited the appropriate solicitor the majority of us were told our statute of limitations ran out by the age of twenty one, so we had no chance of it being heard in a court of law. If the government is so sorry for what happened to us then they should hear our stories and act accordingly. I have not had any communication from the Catholic Church though I have met several nuns who were kind and apologised to me and understood what I had been through. I have always said that though the nuns were strict, I have nothing but good thoughts and memories about 99% of the nuns who raised me.  The nun who was so vicious to me  would have been a child abuser no matter what career she chose. She inflicted irreparable damage on my body, my mind and my soul. I still feel the repercussions of her words and deeds.

2. In my opinion  your own mother’s behaviour and in turn her mother (your grandmother), seems  completely selfish, mean, and bordering on not only evil bigotry but  deliberate and cruel neglect. You say in the book that you managed to “tone down” your recounting of the mother/daughter situation during the television  interviews, but the book paints a more accurate picture, finally exposing the  truth behind your mother’s life of deception and constant denial of you as her  daughter.  I was wondering if you knew whether any other relatives from  your “Australian” side of the family have read the book and if so have they come forward to support you now that the book is in the public  domain?

My Mother was a much loved member of our family, adored by her many nieces and nephews. Lindsay and I received wonderful accolades from various cousins of mine who read The Inconvenient Child and respected my decision to write and it and have it published. Two of my cousins bought about ten books each and gave them to friends as Christmas gifts, while one cousin vowed never to read it as she loved my Mother too much. Another cousin was very upset and would not believe that her favourite Aunt could have done the things that I had said in the book. She very clearly remembered me being a beautifully dressed child who bordered on being spoilt. My Mother once bragged to me that even the Queen sent her children to boarding school and I said, yes she did but that still doesn't make it right. My cousin thought I lived a priviledged life because I was a well dressed kid who went to a boarding school. The same cousin came to see me do a Book Talk and after she had listened to my version of what my childhood was like, even though she had read the book, hearing me talk about it and seeing my pain made her see the truth of what had really gone on. As I said to her, I want her always to love my Mother as I will, but just to understand that she treated my cousins very differently to how she treated me. My Mother loved her family unconditionally and she loved me as best she could, unfortunately for me her best was not good enough. I do not hold my family responsible for what happened to me. I love them all.

3. Regarding your career as an entertainer: Firstly, now-a-days  “a shocking past” can be almost be an asset to a celebrities status with drugs  and alcohol all taken for granted as part of the “scene”, but back when you  were starting out singing professionally, was it necessary to keep your past  and your addictions a secret? Secondly, according to the book you have  obviously had many highlights in your entertaining career – is there one which  stands out as being the most memorable of all? And if so what is it?

When I became a professional entertainer, it was a new start for me and a chance to give my children a good life. I locked and bolted the door on my past, only confiding in cherished and trusted friends such as Lindsay Lewis. Lindsay and I launched The Inconvenient Child before my colleagues in the entertainment industry because I respected them all so much and had worked with them for over thirty years so it was important to me to tell them about my life. They are beautiful people who gave Lindsay and I and our book a standing ovation. They are family to me and I cherish the friendships. Among the highlights in my career are my first public performance in high school, the pride I felt when my friend, Billie Wilde and our group Sisters Incorporated were nominated for a MO Award with Human Nature, The Delltones, The Robertson Brothers and The Four Kinsmen. I thought that was a special night. Being invited to sing on Oriana's final voyage was special, however it is always the magic moments when a simple thing like the man who told me he had not cried since his wife passed away but when he heard me sing The Rose it made him think of her  and weep. The opportunities I have had to use my talent as a singer to help raise money for people in need, now that is wonderful.

4.  Every inspirational story has a happy ending. Notwithstanding your current  battle with ill health, you finally find true love with husband and soul mate  Alan but more than that you discover brothers and sisters and uncles and  aunties on the other side of the world. The recently discovered  African-American side of the family welcomes you and gives you the loving  sense of family you always wanted but but were previously denied.  I know  you must regret not ever meeting your father, so if you had had the chance  what would you have wanted to tell him and what would you have asked him? 

My Father has always been a part of my life though I did not get to meet him. It would have been wonderful to have been a Daddy's girl, to have him walk me down the aisle, to sit with him and listen to our favourtie singer, Nat King cole, to have him be Grandfather to my two sons would have been beautiful as he loved children and my sons would have benefitted from having such a lovely man in their lives. I just wish I could hold him and hug him and tell him I love him. Fatherless girls really miss out on something that is so important and with me having an absent Mother as well, I  really did raise myself. I honour all the mothers and fathers out there who are doing an excellent job of raising their children well.

5. Finally, as you are our special Mother’s Day Inspirational Grandma,  according to your story, becoming a mother gave you the impetus to take stock  of your life and change direction in a very positive way. What differences has  becoming a Groovy Grandma made to your life? Would you describe your  relationship with your children and grandchildren today. What lessons do you  hope they will learn from your experiences?

My two sons turned out to be great people despite me and are loving fathers to their children. Being a Groovy Grandma to my  grand children is great. I love watching my sons raise their children. My eldest is a gentle and kind man and a funny Daddy to his two daughters. He is a clever computer person and a terrific photographer. His motto in life is "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything." My youngest is a sports Daddy. He encourages all of his children into football, soccer, swimming and all of them can run very fast and are all very athletic. He discourages too much sugar and junk food and encourages a healthy life style for them. He has a crazy sense of humour and he enjoys being the karaoke king at his family barbecues. His rendition of anything Jimmy Barnes has us and all the kids in hysterics, but he thinks he is very good. The kids just love it and laugh at their funny Daddy. I was a stage grandmother there for a few years trying to find the next little rock singer in our family. I had them all singing on stages from cruise ships to Carols by Candlelight or productions I would put on at the local theatre and I love watching them in their school productions.  Both of my sons were raised without a father and Allan has been a good example of a man who parents very well. Most of my grandchildren are too young to read The Inconvenient Child but the older ones who have read it say they thought it was interesting and have used the theme of my life in school projects. My wish for all of my grandchildren and for all children every where is that they are allowed to be innocent children, to find the joy and laughter in life and to be treated with respect and dignity, especially if they are troubled children. They deserve wise counseling, a good education and a hug. The majority of  children in Australia are living fabulous lives and are achieving great things, we should be hearing more of their stories.

© Copyright Sascon Pty Ltd (Groovy Grandmas) 2010